Junk Food Cereal

We occasionally eat junk food cereal. This is new for me, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. There’s part of me that loves it. I feel like I’m breaking the rules or something. As if I shouldn’t be eating Cookie Crisp at 6am before work. Sometimes, I do that.

It’s Aarons fault. We go into the cereal aisle at Sam’s Club, I grab Special K, and he can’t decided between the cereal with the most sugar in it, or the cereal with the second to most sugar in it. I don’t understand this. He use to remind me often (only when he actually watched me cook…with lots of butter), that he grew up in a very healthy-food conscious family with lots of whole grains and such. I’m not sure if that was supposed to deter me from deep frying pork products or not, but I keep on making whatever I like making. Anyway, so coming from someone whose eyes grow in disbelief that I’m adding yet ANOTHER handful of cheese, I am shocked he was allowed to eat what I call “Junk Food Cereal”.

I come from a family who could very easily eat bread, cheese, and pasta every single day. We dip everything in olive oil, and smear everything with cheese or butter. We ate cakes and cookies and lasagna and burgers and anything that we thought tasted good. And bread. Lots and lots of bread. But you know what I couldn’t have? We were not allowed to eat “junk food cereal”. It was never in our house. The most sugary thing I remember is Raisin Bran. Maybe somehow my mom knew that since my sister and I were able to maintain a reasonable figure on our no-diet eating habits, maybe junk food cereal would push us over the edge and we’d just explode or something. Either way, whatever my mom’s reasoning for things, I think it worked out pretty well for the two of us.

I don’t remember eating junk food cereal over friend’s houses, but I remember the first time it ever appeared at my house. My cousin Shannon came to live with us after Hurricane Andrew fucked over in her hometown of Miami. I was 9 or so, she must have been 13. These were very vulnerable ages for a girl and her cereal. I was young, so I don’t remember a lot from her stay with us. But there is one thing that was clear. Shannon got to pick out what ever cereal she wanted.

And you know what she picked?

I do. Because I was there.

She picked Cookie Crisp.

Cookie Crisp!?!?!? WhaAAAAt?!?!

This was crazy! This was insane! This was ludicrous! (Although I somehow doubt I used the word ludicrous at 9 years old)

You know what else I thought?

This is freaking awesome!!!

So for whatever period of time it was that Shannon lived with us, I got to eat junk food cereal. And when she was gone, so was the junk food cereal.

Then one day, long after my sister and I grew up and moved out, we go back home to visit. That day, out of the blue, my mom decides she’s going to make us French toast for breakfast. Sounds normal, right? Well…this ain’t any old French toast…this was freakin’ Captain Crunch Crusted French Toast.

WhAAAT????

That’s right, my mom, after all these years (25+ that I’m aware of) of buying ‘adult cereal’ intentionally goes to the store, purchases a huge ass box of Captain Crunch, smashes it up, coats French toast with it, and tops that with a generous pour of real maple syrup. Rachael and I stood in disbelief that this is actually happening. And we ate it. We all ate every single piece. It was fabulous.

Let’s just say it was an exciting morning.

So back to the Cookie Crisp, the cereal that started me on this whole rambling mess. At 26, nearly 27 years old, what do I think about it? Well, I know for sure I haven’t had it in at least 17 years, and there is part of me that wishes I kept it that way. My first bowl a couple of weeks ago left me a little sad. It was like cardboard cookies soaked in milk. The practical part of me sort of knew that might happen, but I still wanted it to taste like it did way back then.

That’s not to say I haven’t been eating it every morning since :)